I'm Always Here
by suchaphangirl
Summary: Dan is having a very bad day at school. He comes home to get drunk. He Skype's with Phil while he's drunk and Phil gets worried.


It was one of those days where Dan Howell just wasn't having a great day.

It was a Monday which meant he had to wake up for school. He hated school. He hated everything about school. He hated the tests and quizzes and the homework they constantly got. Dan was always drowning in homework. He wasn't the smartest kid in his class but he did try his best. He worked hard. Maybe too hard sometimes. It was mostly because his parents were so hard on him. If he got anything lower than a D than he would be grounded. Dan didn't have any friends. Most of the students at school hated him. One reason being that he was gay. Dan had tried to make friends before but it had gone horrible wrong.

Though, Dan did have one friend. His name was Phil Lester. Dan didn't know him personally. They had met online. Phil Lester was mostly known as AmazingPhil on the internet. Phil was a Youtuber. Dan had been watching his videos for two years. He just loved everything about Phil. It was finally a couple months ago when Dan finally got the courage to tweet Phil and with his luck, Phil tweeted him back. Ever since then they've been talking through DM's on twitter and Skype almost every day with each other. Unfortunately, Phil didn't live close to Dan so they could never meet.

Dan had gotten home from school but he was not in a good mood at all. So many things went wrong for him at school. Since he was late he had gotten another detention. Then, to top it all off…He had gotten into another fight with someone because of the fact that he was gay. Dan couldn't stand the name-calling that happened at school. That's what set him off. He had tried talking to teachers but they didn't care about him. Nobody did. That's why Dan had been so depressed lately. He knew that nobody cared about him. Not even his parents or his little brother. The only person who might have cared about him was Phil.

Dan sighed as he walked into the kitchen. It was around 4 o' clock now. He'd been home from school for an hour. Dan was supposed to be on Skype with Phil soon. Dan didn't care though. He was only 15 years old but he wanted to drink.

Dan walked over to the fridge and opened it. He bit his lip as he looked around.

"Where is it? Where is it?" Dan whispered as he looked around for his dad's alcohol. Luckily, his parents worked on week days and they always worked late. Dan smiled when he finally found a few cans of beer that was hidden in the back. He grabbed them and pulled them in the back. He shut the fridge. He turned around and jumped when he saw his little brother, Adrian.

"What are you doing with that? That's dads." Adrian said. Dan rolled his eyes.

"Since when did you care what I do?" Dan asked. Adrian raised his eyebrows.

"I care. It's just I have other things to worry about." Adrian said. Dan scoffed.

"You're 13 years old. What do you have to worry about?" Dan asked.

"More than you think. Are you really gonna drink that?" Adrian asked. "That's three cans." Dan shrugged his shoulders.

"Sure." Dan said. He turned around and then he grabbed a glass from the cabinet. Dan pushed passed Adrian and then he went to his bedroom. He slammed his door shut and locked it. He always locked his door. He never wanted to bother with his family.

Dan walked over to his computer desk and sat down. He sat the three cans of beer on the desk, as well as the glass. Dan took a deep breath. He bit his lip as he looked down at his wrist, which had three red marks on it. Dan had only self-harmed a couple of times. He had tried to stop but he couldn't help it. Dan shook his head. He groaned and hid his face in his hands.

Two hours later and Dan was drunk. He didn't think he would get drunk but he did. He's never been drunk before.

Now it was 6 o' clock in the evening and Dan would be Skyping with Phil soon. Dan was still sitting at his computer desk. He had his face hidden in his arms. He had a headache. He didn't feel good. The fact that he was drunk wasn't helping either. Dan jumped up as soon as he heard a noise coming from his computer. Phil was Skyping him. Dan knew that it wouldn't be a good idea to Skype Phil while he was drunk but he didn't care. He wanted to see Phil. Dan finally answered Phil's call.

"Hey, Dan!" Phil greeted with a smile as soon as Dan answered his call. Phil looked up. Normally he would smile as soon as he saw Phil's face. "Dan? Are you okay?" Phil asked when Dan didn't say anything.

"Fine. I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" Dan asked. Phil frowned.

"Did you have a bad day at school?" Phil asked nervously.

"I always have a bad day at school. School sucks." Dan snapped.

"I'm sorry, Dan. I wish there was something I could do." Phil said. Dan rubbed his eyes. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"No. I'm not okay." Dan mumbled. Phil blinked a few times.

"Wait a minute, are you drunk?" Phil asked. Dan immediately looked up at him.

"What the fuck? How can you tell if I'm drunk or not?" Dan asked.

"I've been to plenty of parties to tell when someone is drunk or not." Phil told him. "Hey, what's going on?" He asked.

"What's going on? More like what's not going on." Dan snapped. Phil chuckled. "I hate my life. I hate everything and I hate everyone. Nobody cares about me." Dan ranted. "I just want everything to end."

"Dan, you're only 15 years old. Things will get better. I promise." Phil assured him.

"No! You just don't understand how I feel!" Dan yelled. His eyes began to water up.

"Where are your parents? Are they not home?" Phil asked.

"No. Even if they were…They wouldn't listen to me. They never listen to me. They don't care about me." Dan snapped.

"That's not true, Dan. They do care about you." Phil said. Dan rolled his eyes.

"I wish you were here." Dan whispered as his eyes began to water up. "You're the only one who gives a damn about me."

"Other people care about you too, Dan. I wish you would see that." Dan looked down at his hands. He looked over at his glass that was still halfway full. Dan reached over and then he took a drink. Phil frowned as he watched them. "Stay there Dan." Phil said. "Don't do anything stupid." Phil warned. Dan looked over and frowned when he saw that Phil had ended the call.

"Fuck!" Dan yelled. He grabbed the glass and then he threw it across the room. Tears began to pour out of his eye.

A train ride and a couple hours later; Phil was finally standing in front of Dan's house, for the first time. Luckily Dan had given him his address before so Phil knew exactly where to find it. Phil took a deep breath before he finally walked up to the door. He knocked on it a few times. Phil stood there for a few minutes before the door finally opened. Phil looked up and blinked a few times when he didn't see Dan. Dan had told him that he had a younger brother.

"Who are you? Do you know how late it is?" The younger boy asked. Phil sighed.

"Look, I know it's real late and I'm really sorry but…Is Dan home?" Phil asked.

"Dan? You know Dan?" Adrian asked. Phil nodded. "I didn't know Dan had any friends."

"I'm his friend." Phil snapped. "Can I come in? Dan's drunk and really upset and I need to be there for him."

"How do you know if he's drunk or not?" Adrian asked curiously. Phil sighed.

"Because I was Skyping him earlier." Phil told him. Adrian raised his eyebrows.

"Ah, so you're the mysterious boy who my brother's been talking to. Alright. You can come in. You're lucky our parents work late on week days." Adrian said as he stepped aside and let Phil in.

"Thank you." Phil said. "Where's Dan's bedroom at?" Phil asked as he looked over at Adrian.

"Up the stairs to the right." Adrian told him. Phil nodded. He turned around and ran up the stairs. He went straight to Dan's bedroom. Phil took a deep breath as he walked up to the door. He was about to see Dan in person for the first time in six months. They've been talking to each other for six months but they've never seen each other in person. Just on Skype. Phil went to open the door but he frowned when he saw that it was locked. Adrian walked up the stairs and raised his eyebrows as he watched Phil try to open Dan's door. "Do you need help?" Adrian asked. Phil jumped and looked over at him.

"Do you know how to open a locked door?" Phil asked. Adrian smiled.

"He always locks his door. Give me a second." Adrian said. He ran back down the stairs and then he came back up a few minutes later with a knife in his hand. Phil stepped back. He raised his eyebrows as he watched Adrian. A few seconds later and the door opened. "There you go." Adrian said. He looked over at Phil.

"Wow, thanks." Phil said. Adrian nodded. He turned around and went back down the stairs. Phil took another deep breath before he opened the door and walked into Dan's bedroom. Phil bit his lip as he looked around. He glanced over at the bed and frowned when he saw Dan lying there. "Dan." Phil whispered. He reached over and shut the door, locking it again. He walked over to the bed and sat down. "Dan." Phil said louder. He shook Dan a few times. Dan turned on his back and finally opened his eyes. Phil could tell that Dan had been crying. His eyes were dark red and there were left over tears on his cheeks. Dan looked over and blinked a few times when he saw Phil. Phil gave him a small smile. "Hey." Phil whispered.

"Ph-Phil?" Dan asked. Phil nodded. "Am I seeing things?" Phil chuckled and shook his head.

"No." Phil said. "You looked like you needed a hug so I came here as soon as possible. I got train tickets and everything and of course I'll stay as long as you want me too." Phil crawled over to Dan. "Come here." Phil said. Dan slowly pushed himself up. He still wasn't sure what was going on. He wasn't even sure if he was dreaming or not.

"Oh my God. I feel like I'm going to be sick." Dan said. He immediately stood up from the bed.

"Dan." Phil said with shock. Dan walked over to his door, almost tripping over his own feet. He unlocked the door and opened it and walked out of his bedroom. Phil quickly stood up and followed him. Dan ran into the bathroom and immediately sat down in front of the toilet and threw up. Phil ran into the bathroom. He closed his eyes when he saw Dan getting sick. He opened his eyes again and nervously walked over to Dan. He bent down and gently rubbed his back.

"I'm sorry." Dan whispered as his eyes began to water up. Phil shook his head.

"Don't apologize. Please don't apologize. You're fine." Phil whispered.

Phil helped Dan clean up after he got sick. Dan was exhausted by the time they made it back to his bedroom.

"Hey, come here." Phil said as they walked into the bedroom. "Take your shirt off." Phil told Dan. Dan did as he was told. Phil walked over to Dan's dresser and opened one of the drawer's.

"I need to lie down." Dan mumbled. Phil looked over at him.

"Wait a second. You're not sleeping in those jeans." Phil said. He pulled out one of Dan's pajama pants. Phil walked over to Dan and handed him the pajama pants. Dan took them. Phil held onto Dan as Dan took off his jeans and pulled on his pajama pants.

"Now?" Dan asked. He rubbed his eyes. Phil smiled.

"Now." He said. He wrapped his arm around Dan and helped him sat down on the bed.

"Are-Are you staying?" Dan asked as he looked over at Phil.

"Of course." Phil whispered. Phil sat down on the bed. Dan crawled over to Phil. Phil got under the covers and then he gently pulled Dan next to him. Dan immediately crawled next to Phil and snuggled up next to him.

_The next morning_:

Dan groaned as he pushed himself up on the bed. He had a horrible headache. He knew it was the hangover from drinking last night. Dan didn't remember a thing that happened last night. The last thing he remembered was talking to Phil on Skype and then everything went black after that. Dan looked over at the clock on his bedside table and saw it was 10 o' clock in the morning. He hadn't planned on going to school today anyways. Dan looked over beside him when he felt movement. He gasped as soon as he saw Phil lying next to him. That was the last thing he expected to see.

"Phil?" Dan asked out loud. Phil's eyes slowly fluttered open. He glanced up at Dan.

"Hey." Phil said. He pushed himself up. "Are you feeling any better?" Dan blinked a few times.

"Wait, what are you doing here?" Dan asked. Phil frowned.

"I thought that you would be happy to see me?" Phil asked. Dan shook his head.

"No, no, no! I am. I'm actually really happy to see you. I'm just so confused. I don't remember what happened last night." Dan said. Phil bit his lip nervously as he stared at Dan. He should have known that Dan wouldn't remember anything.

"Well, I guess you had a bad day at school so you got drunk." Phil told him. Dan nodded. "Then we were Skyping and you were saying how you hated everything and how nobody loved you or cared about you. I just…I had to come see you. You clearly needed someone when no one else was there for you. I wasn't just gonna let you be alone." Phil whispered. Dan smiled.

"You came all the way down here for me?" Dan asked. Phil also smiled and nodded.

"I would do anything for you." Phil said. Dan flung his arms around Phil and hugged him tightly. Phil laughed and wrapped his arms around Dan and pulled him closer. Dan hid his face in Phil's chest.

"I love you." Dan whispered, not letting go of Phil once. Phil smiled as he stared down at Dan.

"I love you too, Dan." Phil whispered. "And don't forget that. I'm always here for you."


End file.
